I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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