THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
