I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
