actually, I'm a sock model
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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