My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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