woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
