Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize