Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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