I wannas sexs uuuuu
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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