Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
