Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
