Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
