We won't sleep together?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
