dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
