I don't think brook has ever known best
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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