After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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