Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
