I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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