Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
