thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
