I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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