You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
