that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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