whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
