great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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