member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
