please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
