she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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