There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
