Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
