She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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