yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize