no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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