you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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