I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
