TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
