Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
