Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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