i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
