In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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