Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
