1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
