my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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