I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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