Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
