why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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