Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
