is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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