we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
