Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
