you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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