so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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