It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Enjoy the penises
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
