Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
