he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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