there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
