they need to just BURY HIM!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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