My brain says no but my pants say off.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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