Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
