my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
