Small penises have feelings too.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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