I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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