I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
